You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
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