I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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