no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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