she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
