I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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