drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
