Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
