PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
