so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
