Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
