Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
