i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
