i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
The adults are the big ones right?
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