I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
