Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
