I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
