He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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