It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
