I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
