help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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