do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
