I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MIDGETS
????
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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