R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
