Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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