Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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