he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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