drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
