I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Operation Purity has been aborted
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
