I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
