We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize