I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I will be naked everywhere
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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