very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
