Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
