kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
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He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
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Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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