Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
It's rum buckets o'clock
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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