I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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