Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
