check it out our google latitudes are spooning
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
