TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
