I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
