I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
How's work?
Spinning.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
