You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
