I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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