Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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