yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
