my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
you had me at cake vodka
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
