my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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