idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
