Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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