Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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