i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
