Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize