Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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