I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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