They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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