I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
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