Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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