Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
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I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
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lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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