As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
