So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
