i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
