Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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