Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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