i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
